When Panic Attacks Strike: Simple Steps to Finding Relief

When Panic Attacks Strike: Simple Steps to Finding Relief

by | Jul 13, 2017 | Anxiety, Grief and Loss, Personal Growth, Trauma

Trigger warning: While this post limits details, it might be triggering to those who have suffered traumatic loss, a panic disorder, etc.

Have you ever felt like pain from the past was behind you only to have it smack you in the face many years later?

Well, that's what happened to me last night. I hesitated to share this story today out of fear of what you guys might think of me. You know, I'm here to help other sensitive folks like me transform anxiety. Don't I have this thing figured out?

The truth I faced last night is that while I've learned to manage anxiety quite well most of the time, there are moments that even I feel out of control. And this was no everyday anxiety. This was trauma that had resurfaced.

"Two steps" in an article sounds sort of funny to me, as two sounds like such a sad little number. Like there should be just one or three. But this is from my very real experience and I thought I'd share it with you despite it feeling incomplete. Here's what happened...

I hadn't had a panic attack in years, but here it was.

I've had difficulty sleeping in the last week or two. Jason and I usually go to bed at 9:30 (I know, so old) and our schedule has been screwy. My mind has been astir almost every night, so I turned to books (Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach & Help Thanks Wow by Anne Lamott, if you want recommendations). Both the act of reading and the content of the books helped me relax.

But last night was different. This time my mind somehow landed on a conversation my brother and I recently had about my mom's death.

On August 5, 2017, it will be ten years since we lost her. My mom died a sudden death and I don't want to go into the details in this article. But what I will say is that there were a lot of "unknowns" surrounding her passing. Most days I feel like I have come to peace with these unknowns. Last night was different.

I went down the rabbit hole into some dark and startling places. I immediately began bawling and suddenly I couldn't catch my breath. My chest felt tight and my head throbbed. My heart was beating rapidly and I felt like I was going to die. I had forgotten just how awful this level of panic is.

Jason was asleep in the other room and I didn't want to wake him, so I frantically flung myself onto the back porch.

I sat on the couch and after a few minutes started to find relief.

I attribute the relief of this particular panic attack to two things.

1) Tapping

If you haven't watched my video series on techniques to release anxiety, you can view this specific technique here. All of the steps are explained in the video, including how to tap and create a cognitive reframing statement to move toward self-acceptance.

You'll see me demonstrate the technique in a calm and grounded manner in the video. Last night was not like that. I probably resembled something closer to a person on a bad acid trip. But even with little order to my tapping, it began to give me relief. The reason tapping works is that tactile stimulation helps to refocus our attention and draw us into our senses. And self-talk that reflects acceptance helps us to be okay with our experience in the moment. 

2) Nature

Get outside when you are feeling bad. Seriously. As I laid on the couch tapping, I also started noticing the sounds of the rain and feeling the humid air, yet cool breeze graze my skin. Looking out into the solace of the night sky gave me pause about my place in this universe. 

When we bring our awareness to our senses and begin to feel, hear, see, smell, and taste the world around us, we get pulled into the present moment and out of the past and future. From this place, we can begin to gain perspective and peace.

After a period of looking out into the trees, I eventually fell asleep right there in the outdoors.

Today I'm sleepy, but I am managing all of the everyday responsibilities and being present. No one would know I had the experience I did last night if I weren't telling you now. 

How many of us are out there stricken with panic and intense emotion? We never really know. I hope that by disclosing my vulnerability, someone out there will feel less alone and have a couple of easy resources to explore. 

***If you think you might be suffering from a panic disorder, please seek professional help by talking to your doctor or therapist. You might also save this Panic Hotline. 

7 Anxiety-Triggering Questions You Can Stop Asking Women, And Suggested Alternatives

7 Anxiety-Triggering Questions You Can Stop Asking Women, And Suggested Alternatives

by | Jun 29, 2017 | Culture, Personal Growth

Recently someone asked me a question that made me want to crawl under a rock.

I knew the question wasn’t intended to be hurtful, and I didn’t want to make this person feel bad, so I didn’t say anything. But I felt bad.

Most of the time, a question is an innocent, honest inquiry into another person’s life. But sometimes a question comes loaded with anxiety-inducing undertones.

Below are seven questions that trigger upset and anxiety for me and many women I know, along with some suggested alternatives.

To some degree, we’re all guilty of asking questions like these, so a little awareness can go a long way to helping us communicate in a more kind, interesting, and meaningful way.

1) Are you tired?

I’m not the only one that interprets this as, “You look like shit.” I actually dated someone who asked me if I was tired because of the circles under my eyes (yes, those words). Um, I always have circles under my eyes. Perhaps it’s because I was a sick kid with asthma…or because my Italian heritage blessed me with deep-set eyes and thin, olive skin. That day, my circles were visible because we were hiking… and I wasn’t wearing make-up. I wish I could sleep them away, but it’s how I was made… Please let this question rest.

If you’re concerned, try sincerely asking, “How are you feeling today?”

2) What happened to your skin?

Most people have at least some kind of insecurity about their physical appearance. Thighs are too big. Hair is too thin. You don’t like your nose. Whatever it is…

For me, it’s my skin. I have battled acne for 22 years. If you failed to notice, thank you. You are either kind, blind, or met me at night in a dark bar. Questions like, “What happened to your skin?” or “Why is your skin blotchy?” give me a sad, sinking feeling. Even if your intentions are good, to me, it’s like you’re telling me I’m ugly. And yeah, I have tried every diet, magical elixir, and dermatologist you can imagine. Harsh topical creams give me eczema.

If you want to offer advice, I suggest doing it when the person brings it up. That’s what happened on a walk with my friend, Dana. I was complaining about my skin and she shared that she had similar problems and recommended a Swedish product line called Lerosett (not an affiliate link). Strangely enough, this is the best thing I’ve found so far. It hasn’t fully cured my acne, but it keeps my skin clearer and is gentle.

3) Are you planning to have kids?

I get it. I’ve asked it too… but in retrospect, I wish I hadn’t. If a woman is at the later end of her childbearing years, it’s best to avoid this question. Some are trying to get pregnant. Others are sorting out feelings about partners not wanting kids or they don’t have partners. And then there’s the dreaded judgment that frequently comes up about women being selfish for not wanting kids. Regardless, there’s a good chance it’s a sensitive subject.

There are exceptions to this, mostly when it comes to close loved ones. Would you share your deepest personal information with the person? If not, maybe talk about something else.

4) Are you eating enough (and vice versa)?

When I was studying Spanish in Guatemala, I consumed a lot of chocobananos and tortillas and one time I ate cake for breakfast with a friend. Not the healthiest, I know… But I don’t think it was really my host mother’s boyfriend’s place to ask me if I gained weight and say, “Se nota” (“it’s noticeable”).

Likewise I lost weight in recent years for a handful of reasons, but it’s annoying when people ask if I’m eating enough.

I have learned to love my body, so please don’t indicate it’s too big or too small. Bodies change. A simple, “You look beautiful today,” or “You have a different glow, what’s different?” will help the person feel at ease and maybe they’ll elaborate on the change.

5) So are you just going to be a “____” now?

I know many moms who have heard something to this effect. It’s as if there’s something lesser about mom work than office work. I’m not a mom, but I have gotten a similar supposition from folks who don’t grasp the intersection of yoga and social work. Someone once asked me if I’m “just not going to use my master’s degree”. I use it everyday, in multiple ways. I’m living my potential, and if I’m not…don’t you worry. The anxiety I’ve been battling all my life has got that covered.

Instead of asking about what your friend or family member is not doing, try asking what life is like as a mother/yoga teacher/fill in the blank. What do they love? What’s challenging? To me, this is a much more interesting answer to receive!

6) Do you think you’ll ever settle down?

This makes me smile and frown at the same time. I’m not exactly sure what it means. If it means am I going to stop traveling, buy a home, get married, and have kids, well probably not. Oh, and I definitely do not need to be reminded that the timeline is tight if I want to have kids or that I might have regrets if I don’t. Really, I’ve got these considerations covered.

The irony is that a life of exploration and stepping outside my comfort zone is the very way of living that keeps me grounded and settled down in the sense of quiet and calm.

Try asking about future plans, past adventures, or creative projects. Again, this will likely yield a far more interesting response.  

7) Why do you have to be so sensitive?

Because I am. It’s my nature. I’m sensitive to the emotions and energy of the people around me. I’m sensitive to injustice. I’m sensitive to a lot of things. There are times I have wished that sensitivity away. But if you are sensitive like me, you know it’s not just a strength, but a superpower.

Acknowledge the feelings of the person in front of you. Once my partner asked me, “God, what’s it like to feel so much?” Even if he didn’t feel what I felt in that moment, that simple, tender inquiry helped me to feel heard, seen, and understood.

What’s the question that you wish people would stop asking? Please take a quick moment to comment below so your voice can be heard! 

A Meditation to Practice Love and Acceptance

A Meditation to Practice Love and Acceptance

by | Jun 7, 2017 | Meditation, Personal Growth, Self Care

Photo courtesy of Madeline Northway Photography and Room to Breathe Chicago. 

Have you heard of “metta meditation”?

It’s an important word everyone ought to know.

I’ll get into why, but I’d like to take a moment to talk about judgment and criticism.  

If you’re like me, you can be highly critical of yourself… and others at times. Although I know none of us wants to admit the latter.

But even if I think I am accepting of others, of course there are people in my life that I judge. Or maybe they’re people I don’t know… politicians, for example.

Did that ignite a jolt of energy through your body?

The criticism and judgment we carry is human. But if left unchecked, we harm ourselves and the world around us.

Anxious feelings surface. Anger bubbles up. And then what?

We destroy… ourselves and connections around us.

Want to know how to transform that judgment into something positive?

Well, it takes moment-to-moment awareness to remember to be kind to myself. And when I do it genuinely, I can be kind to others.

One way to practice moment-to-moment awareness is through the practice of “metta“.

“Metta”, the Pali word for “lovingkindness”. Metta meditation comes from the Buddhist tradition. It integrates intention, feelings, and visualizations to elicit compassion.

Based in love, this practice has the power to develop compassion toward ourselves, as well as those “hard to deal with” people in our lives.

You can spend as little or as much time as feels right to practice. I recommend aiming for about 10 minutes to start.

The steps of Metta Meditation are as follows: 

1. Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. If you are sitting on the ground, you may sit on the edge of a folded blanket or cushion in order to elevate your hips so they are higher than the knees. This helps elongate the spine.

2. Take a moment to allow your body to rest and soften. Then take a few deep breaths in and out to let go of any worries.

3. Start to feel into the heart space at the center of the chest. Draw your breath into that area and allow it to soften resting in the natural flow of your breath.

4. We begin with ourselves, as it is difficult to feel compassion for others if we cannot first practice with ourselves. Repeat the following:

May I be at ease.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
May I be free.

Feel into the intentions that are expressed. You might imagine yourself just as you are with light and warmth around you. Or sometimes it’s useful to visualize yourself as a young child in need of nurturing. Spend some time cultivating love and compassion toward yourself.

Notice what sensations and feelings arise and continue to send kindness inward.

5. After directing lovingkindness to yourself, repeat the same process with the same intentions for a loved one for whom you care deeply.

May you be at ease.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free.

6. You can continue by bringing other loved ones or more distant friends, pets, or acquaintances into your awareness, generally moving from people who are closest to you and then continuing on to those that are less emotionally close. Eventually, you might even bring people into mind who you find challenging–family members, co-workers, politicians, etc.

Throughout this process, feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, etc. may arise. Allow whatever feelings come up to be there and then draw yourself back to the essence of lovingkindness.

With greater lovingkindness, we repair the relationships of the world and unfold greater ease in our minds.

P.S. If you want to learn more techniques to cultivate self-love and live in Chicago, you might check out my Rewriting Your Self-Contracts workshop on June 17th. This has been one of my most popular workshops and it typically sells out fast.

The Way Travel Really Helps Me Cope With Loss

The Way Travel Really Helps Me Cope With Loss

by | Sep 26, 2016 | Personal Growth, Self Care, Travel

I know traveling through grief sounds cliche. What a perfect way to escape pain, right?

Maybe you’re thinking this. Or you hear others suggest that traveling after a major life issues is an escape. But is it?

I’ve found my travel experiences to be profoundly helpful in coping with loss.

But it might not be in the way you think.

Let me explain…

I have traveled solo quite a bit over the last decade, sometimes for weeks and sometimes for years.

In the last nine years, I’ve experienced the loss of my mom, stepdad, stepmom, grandma, and grandpa. About a year ago, my grandma started experiencing symptoms of the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

My stepmom had been successfully battling cancer for six years. But in September 2016, just as I was leaving for Colombia, we received news that she has very little time to live.

Pain hit hard.

I felt guilty for leaving. All the thoughts ran through my head… “My family needs me. I can’t go”, “Why am I even bothering with these retreats?”, “How silly this trip feels…”, etc.

Then I thought, no, I need this. And yeah, that thought crosses the minds of many when we recognize a need for reflection and self-care. Those are all real and valid needs. I’m not dismissing them. But this is not about a cushy vacation in the sun with warm waves that melt away problems.

My travel journey has been about coping and learning to die while I’m alive.

Here me out…

It’s a need that started in my teens… a need for preparation.

You see, I’m an empath. When someone close to me is experiencing pain, I feel it. I’m not talking standard empathy. I tend to take it on and I have to work to come out of it. My mind goes to the suffering of the other, frequently much more than my own.

Sometimes the pain feels like it’s too much. Like I’m going to break. I don’t want to see my loved ones suffer. I’m tired of loss. Of cancer. Of addiction. Of death. I start thinking of losing the other people in my life. I think of dying alone with dementia with no children or grandchildren to be there for me.

And I freak the eff out. Anxiety kicks in and knocks me out. The future feels unbearable and I forget my own strength completely for a time.

This is where travel enters.

Travel is not an escape. It’s my resilience training.

That week in Colombia, I posted photos on social media of idyllic landscapes, vibrant villages, and even a few of me sporting a sincere smile. But my week entailed a lot more.

As an adventure traveler, I often choose the path laden with obstacles. For this trip that meant food poisoning, nauseating bus rides, getting caught in torrential downpours, an Airbnb host who wouldn’t give me a pillowcase, and relentless quests to catch a bus, obtain wifi, or find a house to host a retreat…a couple of times to find no one there to greet me.

At times these challenges were met with a steady mind, but others with tears and frustration.

But then there were moments of great beauty and wonder as I greeted a small box fish under the sea during a dive or gazed up at the Dr. Seuss-esque towering wax palms of the Valle de Cocora. These moments of awe made me feel connected to those I’ve lost.

And then those moments pass and I need to reconnect.

I started the practice of Kriya Yoga at age 16 with my mom. I remember my then guru saying we should pray to live 100 years. I thought about what 100 years would look like. My friends and family would be gone. My youth and mobility would be gone.

It was then that I knew I would need to cultivate peace inside me in a way that keeps me in touch with impermanence.

I have made it my life’s path to stay in touch with the essence of death. Denying or escaping it only brings us greater anxiety later because it eventually smacks us in the face.

Instead I lean into the discomfort.

So, I choose the path that allows me to hold death in what one might call a liminal space of the mind, the intermediate place in between two states.

It’s a challenge to express into words. But what I can say is that sometimes when I am positioned within a room with four walls, pain hits me in a way that it is hard to move past. It’s too much. On the other side of coping, I could seemingly escape pain by taking up any number of addictions, attach myself to material possessions, or overachieve on everything.

Where I find balance is the space between… It’s the place where I can hold death and fear right in the forefront of my mind and allow it to sit there in a way that moves me toward living. I find I can do this best while doing things like hiking… in those moments when I am surrounded by obstacles or environments that place me outside of comfort.

The obstacles prepare me and grow me into a more resilient human being. And the vast perspective these experiences bring is what keeps me knocking on the door of life… all while recognizing someday the door won’t open.

I know it sounds morose, but I swear there’s freedom in this path.

An Essential Reason We Need Others for Self-Care

by | Apr 25, 2016 | Personal Growth, Self Care, Yoga

You know, in the last week I spent $435 on self-care in two seemingly disparate areas of my life.

As a yoga teacher, social worker, and someone who underwent a fair amount of therapy in her youth, I strive to cultivate self-awareness as part of my self-care practice. I also happen to have a partner who relishes self-analysis as much as I do… you can imagine what it is like to be a fly on the wall.

With this proclivity, it sometimes feels like we’ve got life covered. I can talk to my partner. I can do yoga. I can journal. I can cook. I can figure it out. Until… maybe I can’t…or even if I can…I need more.

So, I spent four days in a yoga workshop with senior teacher, Kim Wilcox. I wanted additional training on class sequencing to grow my anatomical knowledge, enhance my creativity, and make me a better teacher. I got all this from the training.

But what’s more is that I also found a new way of practicing that energized me and relieved my chronic back pain–for the whole day.

Kim was my mirror and she didn’t even know it. She reflected back to me some of what I was already feeling in my body, but she also provided me with a framework for moving toward greater health and energy to take care of myself.

The same phenomenon occurred last Wednesday when visited a therapist.

I have been struggling with certain personal relationships for a while and recently started to notice that I was sacrificing my own truth while letting others write the relationship contracts.

Shrinking my own voice has been a common theme in my life (I was doing this 17 years ago too).

I needed an extra boost to push me in the direction of truth. I needed another mirror.

And the truth is that sometimes we cling to unhealthy, but comfortable patterns when we have fear. Fear of change. Fear of discomfort. Fear of someone not loving us. Fear of having to face ourselves.

And even when the right answer is deep within our cells, sometimes it does not always feel clear…and of course, it is that much more difficult to implement it in our attempt to practice self-care. 

This is the time when we learn to listen to the voice inside that says she needs support to find clarity.

That support comes in countless ways and we must honor it when we need it.

I live in a country that prides itself on independence—and well, I think sometimes we internalize this concept and take it too far. We are ALL interdependent. I do believe our answers lie within us and at the same time I know the value of having teachers, mentors, therapists, and guides.

One of our greatest strengths as human beings is to be able to ask for help when we need it.

For me, asking for guidance moved me in the direction of creating healthier contracts with my own body and mind, as well as my relationships.

Having support in living my own truth is what allows me to take care of myself and hold space for others.

3 Key Components to Practicing Compassion During Injury

by | Nov 9, 2015 | Personal Growth, Self Care, Yoga

It can be difficult to practice compassion toward ourselves when faced with an injury.

We get frustrated with our bodies. We become self-critical when we don’t heal fast enough.

But to heal, we need kindness and compassion.

Today I want to share with you 3 key components of practicing compassion.

But first, a story.

I recently went backpacking and camping for a week in the southwest.

On day two, we were canyoneering through the Narrows in Zion National Park when I began to feel intense shooting pains in the joint capsule of my knee.

We were in the middle of a canyon applying agility with every precipitous stepping stone–and a good 10-hour hike away from being out of the canyon the next day.

Thoughts whirled in my mind.

How was I going to hike all this way?

Why is my body behaving like this for? I am a yoga practitioner and avid hiker. I don’t have knee problems.

Ow, it really hurts.

What if continuing this hike jacks up my knee permanently? I’m turning 34. How will I hike in my 60s?

I don’t want to complain. How would my stepdad have reacted? He never complained of the suffering he endured with Mesothelioma. Let me be like him. And what about my mom–her response to suffering? Oh god, this is just a knee…

Ouch.

Trauma sprung. Tears came pouring. There’s a lot I could say here, but…

I made it out of the Narrows. My knee returned to its strength and I returned to my mat.

When I got back to Chicago, a clumsy collision with a door frame at home landed me with a broken phalange. Bam. Crack. Uff.

I hobbled for 8 days with a poor tape job on my baby toe before seeing a podiatrist (apparently, taping the fifth toe to the fourth is a no-no).

I also hobbled along with a poor excuse to not do my yoga practice, but continued to walk, move things, teach yoga, and even audition at a studio–all while in a great deal of pain.

One of my yoga teachers advised me to do standing poses. Inside I balked, but realized maybe he was right. It is just my baby toe after all. Maybe continuing through the pain would help the healing process. Stop creating excuses, mind.

Then I asked the podiatrist if I could do yoga, he replied with an emphatic, “Nooooooo. Stay off it. It needs to rest.” And the mind said…”Yep, best to stay off of it. Excuse okay here.”

As competing thoughts patterns inhabited my mind, I acknowledged that what lies between is a middle path…a middle path that honors ahimsa, the Sanskrit word for “compassion” or “nonviolence”.

Ahimsa is rooted in the notion that violence can take place in our thoughts, words, and actions and when we have ill thoughts, they lead to derisive words and harmful actions. These, in turn, create destructive habits and ignorant conditioning. When we do harm to ourselves, we harm others and vice versa.

I constantly remind myself that yoga is not just asana (physical poses). The yoga practice takes place off the mat in how we lives our lives, interact with others, treat ourselves, etc. But to only practice off the mat can impede our ability to practice tapas (self-discipline). And providing space for tapas serves as our point of reference to continuously do the work of yoga.

I would be a fraud if I suggested I am over this battle in my head. It is never over. It’s always there.

It is a constant practice of listening to the body and choosing compassion. Nonviolence is not passive; it is active, intentional thought, word, or action or absence thereof. It is a balance of allowing rest and still forcing myself to move past excuse and onto my mat in a way I know is good for me right now. I have adapted my Mysore practice accordingly. See below for more info.

3 Ways to Practice Compassion During Injury:

1. Track your thoughts:

In yoga, we practice observing our thoughts when faced with discomfort and challenging emotions. Still, we tend to disavow both our strengths and weaknesses, breakthroughs and shortcomings. This is a balance of examining where you can push and where you can pull back, where you need perseverance and where you need gentleness. Where are you being too harsh? Where are you making excuses? They both warrant a turn to ahimsa.

I have been taking 10 minutes each morning to meditate and 30 minutes to journal. It is a practice of stillness while simply observing thoughts and then allowing time to reflect on paper. Even if you can only devote 10 minutes to sit in stillness and observe what comes up, this will have a profound impact on your life.

2. Watch your words.

Words often follow thoughts. And they have power. I have found myself uttering the words “my stupid broken toe” or “my friggin’ knee”. Each time, I have immediately recanted my words as I realized these words were unkind and not useful for my body. I love my toe. I love my knee. I love my body.

Words also make actions more real. I recently told my boyfriend, that I was making a commitment to self-care and compassion for myself–a commitment to myself and the women I will be holding retreat space for in January. I wake up at the same time every morning to meditate for 10 minutes, journal for 30, and then practice yoga for an hour in a way that honors where my body is that day–the same practice I will be asking of the women. Stating that commitment aloud has made it easier to stay on track with my own self-compassion.

If you are working through a particular issue and find the same negative thoughts, words and speech arising, take a moment to journal the new thoughts and words you would like to generate in place of the negative ones. Use those affirmations in your thoughts and verbal processes.

3. Attend to your actions.

You only get one body. If you are experiencing an injury or pain of any sort, let this be a time to make friends with your body. We are hypercritical of our thighs, skin, achy joints, and lack of flexibility. Make a conscious choice to fall in love with yourself–every aspect of you.

The only way you will hear how to best nourish your body is if you take time to really hear it. I went to a talk last night by a wonderful teacher and storyteller, James Boag. He reminded us that wild animals are always fit. They know exactly how to eat, when to eat, and how to move as part of their inherent instincts. I would go further and suggest they also know what their abilities and limitations are in times of injury. And they bounce back. They recover quickly.

Through these last two minor injuries (and they are minor!) I have experienced some fear and uncertainty. But it is only fear. When I really listen, my body tells me what it needs. It is unnecessary to follow all of the other voices around me. And it always needs movement and yoga–in a way that respects the principle of ahimsa.

How I adapt my Mysore practice:

You may have seen this video circulating on Facebook at some point. It shows a great way to modify the entire Ashtanga Primary Series without standing poses.

If this guy with a broken femur could continue his practice–anyone can practice. My little toe certainly is not going to stop me. The practice certainly feels different, but I find it still creates heat and offers most of the same benefits.

Have you had an injury that has affected your practice? How do you practice compassion?

Feeling Down? A Simple Trick to Ignite Your Strength

by | Sep 24, 2015 | Personal Growth, Self Care, Travel, Yoga

We all experience glum moods and irritation.

Sometimes it comes from an external circumstance. And sometimes it arises for what feels like no reason at all.

Today I will share with you a super simple way to spruce up your energy anywhere and anytime.

The other day I was sitting at the airport with a delayed flight…of four hours.

I had just finished an energizing few days visiting a friend.

But I was also been yearning to be in the presence of my partner…more than ever. Like, I really missed him.

Those four extra hours feel like an eternity.

The lovely Spirit Airlines (yes, we have a codependent sort of relationship—you keep behaving in a destructive way and I will pretend all is well) was about to grace the ornery passengers with amazingly generous food vouchers of a whopping $7.00.

While I was standing in line, I found myself slouching and slumping into negativity.

I quickly activated my “Tadasana” feet, legs, and spine. What a difference.

If you are unfamiliar with Tadasana, it is Mountain Pose. If you did not know any better, you’d think it is just standing.

But Mountain Pose is a very active pose energizing every body part from the inner arches of the feet to the skin on the back of the head.

I realized in that moment, that Tadasana is a pose that truly activates the mind into an alert and conscious state.

It is the pose that helps us to stand taller like a mountain, but also be taller and higher in our minds—just as we are when we are at the foothills of a mountain.

It reminds us not to get bogged down in the small hiccups of life and that all is in perfect harmony if we are in the mind.

Tadasana/Mountain Pose

1. Stand with your feet parallel at hip distance.

2. Distribute your weight evenly through all four corners of the feet—inner heel, outer heel, ball of the foot, and outer ball of the foot.

3. Lift up through the inner arches of your feet.

4. Tuck your tailbone slightly so that it points down toward the ground as you lift up through the pit of the abdomen.

5. Raise your heart and drop the low ribs gently.

6. Lift the back of the skull.

7. Breathe. Notice.

8. Be kind to yourself and others.

9. Trust that all is in perfect order.

How do you use Tadasana? Share your thoughts below!

Cheating on Yoga…

Cheating on Yoga…

by | Sep 15, 2015 | Personal Growth, Self Care, Uncategorized, Yoga

That’s right.

It’s not that I took up pilates or the local pole fit class.

Nope–I fell in love.

It is no surprise that my rhythm and ritual practice could be comprised by love. We have all been there; love has a tendency to flip us upside down and rattle our root chakra–the chakra associated with stability and grounding. Love frequently throws it into turmoil as old patterns, fears, and emotions surface.

The irony is that this comes just after I gave a workshop in July about the importance of ritual practice in self-care. And here I am, a complete hypocrite who has sacrificed her personal rituals in the name of love.

Over the last two months, I have identified a handful of believable excuses to talk myself out of practicing and attending workshops for which I would normally make time.

My current work schedule keeps me up late–I’m exhausted and need rest.

His place is too far from my yoga studio. I don’t have the time for traffic.

I forgot my yoga clothes.

I don’t have time.

What has happened is that I have temporarily replaced one love with another.

My dedication to everything yoga quickly waned when I began to feel a similar sort of sensation arise with my new boyfriend.

Suddenly, I discovered that his arms around me for an extra hour or two has repeatedly trumped the quiet whispers from my yoga mat begging me to come practice with her sacred support.

For the first time in my life, I feel unwavering commitment to my partner and the relationship we have entered; yet, I have found myself in a period of lesser commitment to the practice of yoga.

What I have been reminded of here is just how easy it is for me to lose part of myself in relationship.

I have felt ambivalent to share certain parts of my spiritual thoughts and beliefs for fear of his judgment. It’s silly really. He fell in love with me as the earth spirit that I am knowing our differences. He has shown me nothing but full love and support. So why the fear? I don’t think I need to answer that…

Anyone who has dated me might say I can be rigid and stubborn at times, but the paradox is that I can also be too flexible–flexible in the sense of not fully being who I am and honoring all of what is important to me.

Make no mistake that I also have a very flexible body in yoga practice–and strength is what I lack.

While relationships require a middle path, that middle path still requires two whole human beings who are willing to fully be themselves with strength.

Now, every time I make a conscious choice to voice my ideas and beliefs to him without shame and fully express who I am, I feel a greater closeness.

The best days are the days when we both honor our personal practices.

The other night, I told one of my teachers that I feel like I have been cheating on yoga. He looked and me and confidently responded, “It’s okay, Melissa; you can two-time.”

That I can. And I feel lucky to be graced with the welcome and love of both my mat and man.