Meditation Archives - Melissa Noel Renzi

Meditation for Anxiety: When It Doesn’t Work & What to Do

by Melissa Noel Renzi | May 18, 2022 | Anxiety, Highly Sensitive Person, Meditation, Yoga

Have you tried to use meditation for anxiety symptoms?

Many HSPs who are prone to anxiety turn to meditation to cope. It makes sense that people with sensitive nervous systems would gravitate toward a quiet, inward-oriented, and deeply personal practice.

We’ve also been hearing about endless benefits of meditation for years, one of which is that meditation can calm anxiety. There are indeed multifaceted benefits that can come from meditation practice, and anxiety relief may be one of those for some people.

Yet, lost in the hype that touts meditation as a cure-all is that it can have potential adverse side effects. Traditional teachers know this, but we don’t hear about it in a world in which traditions get commodified by the loudest voices and largest platforms.

A few years ago, researchers at Brown University published a study that looked at reported side effects by practitioners of a specific Buddhist meditation. These side effects included quite a few examples of nervous system hyperarousal or hypoarousal, such as anxiety, insomnia, emotional blunting, and dissociation.

Of course, this kind of study has limitations, but it also offers an important balance to a widespread narrative that overlooks the possible risks.

I’ll also say that as someone who has practiced various forms of meditation on and off for the last 23 years, I have experienced many benefits. And, I’ve also witnessed some of the rare, but real adverse side effects on loved ones and fellow practitioners.

I hope this serves as a reminder that if you ever experience increased anxiety or adverse side effects from your meditation, you’re not alone.

Today I want to shed some light on why meditation for anxiety may not always work for anxiety. I’ll also share tips for how you might approach meditation if you struggle with anxiety.

Why Meditation May Not Always Work for Anxiety

Meditation and mindfulness are considered “top-down” approaches, which means they engage the higher cognitive parts of the brain in the prefrontal cortex. This is the topmost, and evolutionary speaking, newest part of the brain that is home logic, language, thinking, and other executive functions.

Top-down approaches have value, but they are not always helpful in moments of hyperarousal. While there are complex interactions throughout the brain, anxiety is a response to stress that primarily takes place in the lower parts of the brain: the emotional center known as the limbic system, and the brain stem. When you’re in an anxious state, your emotional brain can take over while your cognitive brain goes offline.

This is why “bottom-up” approaches that work with these lower parts of the brain can be helpful for many people when dealing with anxiety. I’ll give examples of these approaches below.

If Meditation Isn’t Helping, Consider These Tips

First, if you’re struggling with debilitating anxiety or an anxiety disorder, please seek care from a licensed mental health clinician. Working one-on-one with a meditation teacher for guidance is also important, but meditation teachers are not trained mental health clinicians.

1) Meet your nervous system where it is. While you want to move from hyper-aroused to a calmer, regulated nervous system, meditative practice may not always be the starting point. Rather, you might save your meditation for after you’ve used other means to process anxiety since anxiety often needs a bottom-up approach to build a sense of safety in your nervous system. Examples of such approaches can include: exercise, dancing, yoga asana, expressive art, long exhales, chewing ice, jumping, shaking, nature walks, or other movements.

2) Meditate when you’re calm. Meditation starts out challenging for everyone. While consistent meditation can have benefits and potentially rewire your brain to be less reactive over time, it makes a difference to begin a practice from a calm or neutral state rather than from an anxious one. If you’re set on building a meditation practice, you might practice for 10 minutes per day when you already feel more regulated. By the way, this doesn’t have to be in the morning. You can integrate your practice into where it fits in your existing life.

3) Try a different form of meditation. Meditation practice takes time to build, so it’s a good idea to give your practice a chance for several months, unless it’s causing you distress. If you find it’s not helping, you might try another form of meditation. The study referenced above focused solely on Buddhist traditions and mindfulness practice. I’d be curious to know if Vedic practices such as mantra recitation or an Internal Family Systems approach to meditation would carry the same possible risks.

4) Explore alternatives to meditation. Meditation can challenge you, but it should not be a burden, stoke anxiety, or result in undue distress. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not experiencing anxiety relief or other benefits from meditation. There are other practices that can be grounding and help you release anxiety. They may even help you connect more to the world. Some are mentioned in #1, but this could also include practices such as journal writing or mindful gardening.

In Closing…

Keep in mind that it’s not necessary to stick with a meditation practice for years in hopes of reaching some eventual immeasurable state. Your practice should have functional benefits that support nervous system regulation and help you better integrate with all parts of yourself, loved ones, and the surrounding world.

A Question That Gets Neglected in Contemplative Practice

by Melissa Noel Renzi | May 6, 2022 | Meditation, Yoga

Are you engaging in a contemplative practice? Maybe you have an existing practice or you’ve recently embarked on something new.

Whatever your practice may be, I have a question for you to consider on your journey.

It’s a question that tends to get overlooked in contemplative practice. I admit that I, too, have been deep on a path without really stopping to ask myself this.

Yet, it’s an important one to keep in mind.

This question is…“Is this practice enhancing or degrading your ability to connect and function in the world?”

You may have begun your practice with an intended benefit in mind. Maybe a friend suggested it, or perhaps, our broader society keeps telling you it will be good for you.

There’s no shortage of people and publications touting the benefits of meditation or yoga. Yet, there’s little discussion around varying forms of these practices that may be helpful to some people, in some circumstances, and not so much in others. There’s virtually no mention of the potential adverse side effects.

I speak from pitfalls I have faced myself…

As a teen, I practiced Kriya Yoga, which entailed an hour of prāṇāyāma practices each morning. I distinctly recall an instance when my dad unintentionally interrupted my practice. My peaceful state abruptly vanished, I shot a disdainful look at him, and we ended up in an argument. My practice didn’t exactly translate to being more compassionate, forgiving, or even flexible.

I began with Ashtanga Yoga in my late 20s. I thought I felt great after my practice, even though I would be tired, unfocused, and in physical pain a couple of hours later. It took me years to come to terms with the havoc it wreaked on my body and nervous system.

These experiences are just a couple among many that have shaped the teaching principles I follow today.

To be clear, it’s not my intention to denigrate these practices or traditions. They have their place depending on the individual, stage of life, aim, and context…things that get lost in modern yoga.

But they didn’t match up with my system and what I needed for functional living at those phases of my life.

Any practice requires time and dedication. You can give yourself time to explore.

Just keep in mind that your practice should serve you, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you come to find that it’s not.

Check in along the way to assess whether your practice is truly helping you live out your capacities and connect with the surrounding world.

4 Questions for Your Contemplative Practice

What is my purpose for engaging in this practice?
How do I feel during this practice and hours after?
Is this practice helping me to connect and relate more to others?
Is this practice supporting me to better function in my daily life?

It took me time to give myself permission to shift gears, but I’m grateful that I did for more reasons than I can lay out in this blog. There may be a time when you need that permission too and I want you to know you’re not alone. It’s okay to let go or try something else.

What about you?

If you’ve had a similar experience or realization with a contemplative practice, I invite you to share in the comments below.

Nadi Shodhana: A Breathing Technique to Help Calm Anxiety

by Melissa Noel Renzi | Nov 14, 2018 | Anxiety, Highly Sensitive Person, Meditation, Yoga

Want to learn a breathing technique for anxiety?

Breathing techniques may not always work to ease anxiety, but that doesn’t mean that breathing never works. Different tools work in different ways for different people. What’s important is that you have options in your toolbox and identify what works for you.

Today I want to share with you a simple technique that is safe for beginners and a wonderful tool to facilitate ground in the fall season.

Nāḍī shodhana prāṇāyāma or “alternate nostril breathing” is a breathing technique I often teach my students.

On the days that I’m not a congested puffball, this practice brings me into a profound sense of ease and awareness. It can really be a powerful tool for a lot of people.

I’ll walk you through this as a breathing technique for anxiety you can do at home, as well as when you’re out in the world,.

First, I’d like to explain nāḍī shodhana and its benefits a little further.

Nāḍī Shodhana: A Breathing Technique for Anxiety

The word nāḍī can be translated from Sanskrit to mean “channel” and shodhana signifies “cleansing” or “purifying”. Nāḍī shodhana is the practice of cleansing or clearing the subtle pathways of your system so that your prāṇa or “life force” can move through you with greater ease. In essence, the practice helps restore balance in your mind and body and supports overall well-being.

This simple technique can be practiced before or after physical postures (āsana). If you choose to do it at the end, practice it after śavāsana. You may also use this breathing technique as a stand-alone practice.

Benefits of Nāḍī Shodhana

Here are some of the potential benefits of nāḍī shodhana according to the yogic tradition:

Centers the mind in the present.
Supports mental function and concentration.
Lowers the heart rate and releases tension.
Improves respiratory function and sends more oxygen to the blood.
Helps balance the left and right nostrils and hemispheres of the brain.

How to Practice This Breathing Technique for Anxiety

For this practice, you can breathe with a gentle and easy rhythm without needing to make your breath particularly long or deep.

1) Sit in a comfortable position on a chair or on the ground with some cushioning under your sit bones so that your hip and spinal muscles are as relaxed as possible.

2) Bring your index and middle fingers of your dominant hand to the point on your forehead just above the center of your eyebrows. You’ll use your thumb and ring and/or pinky fingers to alternately close your nostrils. Your other hand may rest in your lap with your palm facing up. Start by taking an easy inhale and exhale through both nostrils.

3) At the end of your exhale, close your right nostril and inhale through the left. At the end of your inhale, close left and exhale through your right nostril. Inhale through the right. Then close right and exhale left. Repeat inhaling left, exhaling right, inhaling right, exhaling left. Continue through 6-8 rounds and you will finish exhaling through your left nostril to complete the round.

4) Once you complete the rounds and exhale on your left side, place both hands in your lap and return to natural breathing as you sit in the effects of your practice. While your breathing will be natural, you can invite a sense of subtle expansion and movement into your belly as you breathe, which will also have a calming effect on your nervous system.

5) As your practice progresses, you may begin adding a pause after each inhalation and exhalation. Allow the pause to be brief, so you’re not holding your breathe but simply pausing for a moment in the space between as you transition your breaths.

So how might you bring this technique out in the world when you feel anxiety?

With a steady practice at home, you’ll begin to heighten your awareness of your breath moving in and out of your nostrils. Without using your fingers to close your nostrils, you can bring your awareness to breath moving in the left, out the right, in the right, and out the left. In this way, it becomes a grounding focal point for your attention as you slow your breath and facilitate calm in your system.

If you’d like to learn more breathing techniques and practices, consider joining me for an online yoga class one of these days. All classes are open to all levels of experience, slow-paced, and accessible to all bodies.

A Gratitude for Grief Meditation to Transform Your Loss

by Melissa Noel Renzi | Nov 24, 2017 | Grief and Loss, Meditation, Self Care

Can I share something personal with you?

My grandma passed away over the weekend. I’ve lost two grandmas and my stepmom this year. Having lost my mom, stepdad, and grandpa in the last decade, sometimes it feels like the people I love are constantly dying.

I’ve found a way of reframing my perception of “constant loss” that helps me to transform my grief into an experience I can bear. I’ll share this approach, as well as a meditation to help you, in a moment. But first, let’s look at loss.

What happens when you lose someone you love?

Losing a loved one is a life-altering experience. If you’ve lost a loved one, you’re familiar with the visceral pain of grief.

The grieving process varies for each person. It may include feelings such as anger, abandonment, sadness, anxiety, and guilt. And for the empaths out there…well, you may absorb a mixed bag of emotions from grieving loved ones in addition to your own, leading to more confusion and overwhelm.

Grief certainly isn’t linear. Grief ebbs and flows like waves of the sea.

But when a painful flood of emotion comes, we may feel despair and powerlessness. Grief can feel traumatic to the body. You may have difficulty breathing. Tension may gather in the abdomen, chest, or throat. Your immune system may weaken.

The way we carry emotion can make it challenging to step out of intense sadness.

While it’s vital that we allow ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotion, it also helps if we can find meaning from our experience.

When I find myself heading into an abysmal sadness, I reframe my loss.

Is it possible to feel gratitude for grief?

It may sound strange, but gratitude for grief is possible and transformative.

All of the losses I’ve experienced are reflective of the connections I’ve had in my life. These people I’ve loved and who have loved me have imparted many gifts for which I’m grateful.

Having worked in the child welfare system, I’ve known way too many children who literally have no one in their lives to lose other than a caseworker or therapist. Having no one to lose is a much more tragic in my opinion.

When I view loss in this way, my perspective begins to shift to gratitude for grief, which has a profound effect on my physical energy and mental health.

Gratitude is a practice that can transform our beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors if we spend some time giving thanks from the heart.

I’ve recorded a guided gratitude for grief meditation for you based on the Buddhist “metta” lovingkindness meditation. The lovingkindness meditation invites the feeling of compassion. In this meditation, I’ve replaced compassion with gratitude.

Listen to: Gratitude for Grief Meditation

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

A Meditation to Practice Love and Acceptance

by Melissa Noel Renzi | Jun 7, 2017 | Meditation, Personal Growth, Self Care

Photo courtesy of Madeline Northway Photography and Room to Breathe Chicago.

Have you heard of “metta meditation”?

It’s an important word everyone ought to know.

I’ll get into why, but I’d like to take a moment to talk about judgment and criticism.

If you’re like me, you can be highly critical of yourself… and others at times. Although I know none of us wants to admit the latter.

But even if I think I am accepting of others, of course there are people in my life that I judge. Or maybe they’re people I don’t know… politicians, for example.

Did that ignite a jolt of energy through your body?

The criticism and judgment we carry is human. But if left unchecked, we harm ourselves and the world around us.

Anxious feelings surface. Anger bubbles up. And then what?

We destroy… ourselves and connections around us.

Want to know how to transform that judgment into something positive?

Well, it takes moment-to-moment awareness to remember to be kind to myself. And when I do it genuinely, I can be kind to others.

One way to practice moment-to-moment awareness is through the practice of “metta“.

“Metta”, the Pali word for “lovingkindness”. Metta meditation comes from the Buddhist tradition. It integrates intention, feelings, and visualizations to elicit compassion.

Based in love, this practice has the power to develop compassion toward ourselves, as well as those “hard to deal with” people in our lives.

You can spend as little or as much time as feels right to practice. I recommend aiming for about 10 minutes to start.

The steps of Metta Meditation are as follows:

1. Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. If you are sitting on the ground, you may sit on the edge of a folded blanket or cushion in order to elevate your hips so they are higher than the knees. This helps elongate the spine.

2. Take a moment to allow your body to rest and soften. Then take a few deep breaths in and out to let go of any worries.

3. Start to feel into the heart space at the center of the chest. Draw your breath into that area and allow it to soften resting in the natural flow of your breath.

4. We begin with ourselves, as it is difficult to feel compassion for others if we cannot first practice with ourselves. Repeat the following:

May I be at ease.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
May I be free.

Feel into the intentions that are expressed. You might imagine yourself just as you are with light and warmth around you. Or sometimes it’s useful to visualize yourself as a young child in need of nurturing. Spend some time cultivating love and compassion toward yourself.

Notice what sensations and feelings arise and continue to send kindness inward.

5. After directing lovingkindness to yourself, repeat the same process with the same intentions for a loved one for whom you care deeply.

May you be at ease.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free.

6. You can continue by bringing other loved ones or more distant friends, pets, or acquaintances into your awareness, generally moving from people who are closest to you and then continuing on to those that are less emotionally close. Eventually, you might even bring people into mind who you find challenging–family members, co-workers, politicians, etc.

Throughout this process, feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, etc. may arise. Allow whatever feelings come up to be there and then draw yourself back to the essence of lovingkindness.

With greater lovingkindness, we repair the relationships of the world and unfold greater ease in our minds.

P.S. If you want to learn more techniques to cultivate self-love and live in Chicago, you might check out my Rewriting Your Self-Contracts workshop on June 17th. This has been one of my most popular workshops and it typically sells out fast.